Putting The Child First

For those parents or alleged parents who have opted for a paternity test, it’s easy to get tied up in your own emotions and forget about the child. Separating or divorcing parents – or those who are unwilling to take responsibility for a child – are often consumed by their own wants and needs and the child gets pushed to one side. The paternity test can end up being more about one-upmanship and money than about being a parent.

Why Your Child Matters

Every child deserves an honest, loving and nurturing environment to grow up in. Sadly, too many children across the world don’t have this, and when parents fight or fall out over paternity, the child can be affected in the long term. Make sure to consider the emotional impact of a paternity test. Although it may be difficult, you should try and put your feelings to one side and concentrate on what will be best for your son or daughter.

How you deal with the issue of a paternity test largely depends on the age of the children. Some have grown up with the man they believe to be their father, and are in their teens when that paternity is challenged. The shock of discovering that they may have a different biological father, together with feeling betrayed by the mother can have a severe psychological impact, and damage their relationship with both parents. Younger children who are part of a single parent family, on the other hand, may not have formed an attachment to a father figure and are initially unaffected by any questions of paternity.

How To Approach The Paternity Test

Whatever your circumstances, if you need a paternity test, you need to spend some time thinking about any current relationship you have with the child, and how that relationship might change depending on the outcome of the test. It may be wise for you and the mother to have some counselling to help you approach the paternity test in the right way and, depending on the age of the child, he or she may also benefit from talking things through with a professional.